#zoots and snacks

[shouldering-worlds]

maybe I'm autistic, but I'm having that feminine urge to be prepared for any scenario all in one bag

[commoncorps3]

i kinda wanna catch up on heartstopper but watching it sounds so overwhelming rn 😩

[quispyme]

“boner” is a misnomer

[kaiyatoast]

slytherin boys and the type of best friends they are

characters: blaise zabini, draco malfoy, mattheo riddle, theodore nott, tom riddle w/c: 417

Blaise Zabini -

Blaise is the best friend who will always defend you, and you to him. Someone tripped you on the way to class yesterday? They ended up in the infirmary during the Quidditch match against Slytherin today. Someone shamed Blaise for his mother having many ex husbands? They ended up in the infirmary after you had accidentally slipped a potion that was non-lethal but painful, over their drink, showing them how easy it was to shut them up. Of course, the two of you have never been caught. 

Draco Malfoy -

Draco is the best friend who you’re always bickering with. Over everything. You’re bickering over who took the last toast at breakfast (it was you), who was late (both of you), or who talked a little too loud and caused both of you to get detention (it was Draco). Despite your constant bickering, both of you know that it’s never that seriously and you both can be seen fighting back a smile. (Only sometimes, though, Draco can be a little petty).

Mattheo Riddle -

Mattheo is the best friend who has your back all the time, even when it gets hard. If you’re having a bad day, he has all of your snacks ready. If you don’t feel like talking, the two of you will head up to the astronomy tower with some sippity sips or zootity zoots. One look from him and you already know that he’s having a bad day, and it’s your turn to being him up to the astronomy tower with your supplies, headphones and sketchbooks. 

Theodore Nott -

Theo is the best friend who you cannot be serious with. The two of you always encourages each other’s stupidity. Theo wants to climb the Ravenclaw tower? You bet you can climb it faster. You think that the lake’s not that cold in the middle of winter because it’s not frozen? Theo’s already jumping in before you can finish your sentence. I know Blaise is tired of your asses. (He says that this is the last time he’s covering up and helping you, but he’s said this five times already)

Tom Riddle -

Tom is the best friend who - hold up. Y’all think he has friends? LMAO

Tom is the best friend who knows exactly what’s on your mind, and you know what’s on his. Someone did something embarrassing and you’re already side eyeing each other. You barely argue about where to eat. You don’t even need to discuss it. You are both on the same wavelength and you already know what the other wants.

reposted from my tiktok @mrsblaisezabini

[sockslippin]

what are some more sings that's someone's a feedee before they realize it

I have so many tbh.

1. You can't pass up a cluster of fast food restaurants without fantasizing about what you'd get. (Or actually just getting whatever you craved in that split second)

2. You love the way tight clothing looks and feels even if it makes a few ppl question your modesty.

3. You say things like "Will there be food?" or "Let's leave early and stop and get food." In relation to any sort of gathering.

4. You start to pregame your outings with food and even packing extra snacks in your bag or purse.

5. Planning your next meal while you're eating your current meal.

6. Spending entire saturdays in your birthday suit, eating, getting zooted, playing video games and masturbating. Giving in to every little indulgence until you realize it's Sunday and yesterdays food coma was the best 11 hours of sleep you've ever gotten.

7. Three words. Multiple candy stashes.

8. Seeking out media specifically with fat people. Movies, shows, comics, books, erotica, music etc. Borderline obsessively.

9. This one might be personal but, if I was disappointed by how my food tastes. I'd make it up to myself by getting something way better after.

10. Craving that feeling of fullness constantly.

11. Your car being a fast food packaging grave yard.

I'm gonna start compiling these as I remember them. I LOVE this question btw so thank you! 😌

[minisugakoobies]

The Rules - Part 1 | Bang Chan

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader Genre: smut, crack, strangers to lovers, Weddingl!AU Rating: M (18+) Warnings: drinking, kissing, exhibitionism, reader gets fingerfucked in public, dirty talk, a little bit of praise, Fuckboi!Chan has a tongue ring and a lip ring, his charisma is off the charts, reader's got impulse control problems Word Count: 4K Disclaimers: NSFW, obviously I don’t own SKZ - they just inspire me

Summary: When your cousin asked you to be a bridesmaid, she gave you three simple rules to follow. Number one: Don't be late. Number two: Don't get super wasted. And rule number three: Don't fuck Chan.

A/N: This came from a request sent by @aprylynn back in, ummmm, let's not focus on how long this took and just enjoy 😆 This is just part 1, so let me know what you think - like if you want more! 💕

SKZ Masterlist

(dividers by @/saradika)

When your cousin asked you to be a bridesmaid, she gave you three simple rules to follow:

Number one: Don't be late. "To be early is to be on time. To be on time is to be late. To be late is to get cut out of the family. Don't think Halmeoni won't drop you from her will if I ask."

Number two: Don't get super wasted. "What if I have a bridal emergency and you're completely zooted, upchucking wine spritzers in the bathroom?" As if you'd drink a wine spritzer.

And rule number three: Don't fuck Chan.

She announced the third rule the first time you gathered with her and her other bridesmaids to discuss wedding details. Chan, it turned out, was her fiancé's "Best Bro" from his college frat days.

"Binnie was in a frat? Huh," was your response upon learning this new factoid.

Sun Hee rolled her eyes. "I know, it's weird, but he's grown up a lot since I met him. Chan, on the other hand…" she grimaced. "He's a fuckboy. Of the highest magnitude. S-class. A summa cum fuckboy."

"More like a someone's gonna come fuckboy, amiright?" maid of honor Ji-won snarked, cracking herself up, but she quickly stopped when Sun Hee gave her the evil eye.

"And that's bad because…" you drawled.

"Because every goddamn time one of my friends hooks up with his slutty ass, they completely lose their shit. And I! Do! Not! Have the time to deal with the fallout!" Sun Hee clapped her hands after each word, like a deranged cheerleader. "So keep your hands and your holes away from that man!"

At first, when you met the groomsmen at the engagement party, you thought to yourself that Sun Hee's rule was unnecessary. Apparently, Changbin only hung out with other ridiculously good-looking guys. Any one of them could probably show you an amazing time, if you so desired. 

And then Bang Chan walked in.

Out of curiosity, you'd looked the guy up, scouring Changbin's insta for old photos. Just so you could see what all the fuss was about. It was pretty easy to identify why Sun Hee's friends were apparently throwing themselves at the man, between his muscular build, his warm eyes, and his heart-melting smile. And as a semi-famous music producer, he's a star on the rise, which only adds to his allure. But holy shit, you were not prepared for the charisma.

He strolled into the room in a leather jacket like he was walking onto a stage, radiating confidence from every inch of his rather thick frame, as if expecting an audience to start applauding at his presence. Maybe that's why you weren't surprised to see Changbin and his friends light up as they caught sight of their friend.

Of course, they weren't the only ones to notice him.

"Oh damn, look at the snack that just walked in," Ji-won whispered, tugging on your sleeve. "He's tasty."

"Yeah he is," another bridesmaid, Hae, piped up. "Is it too late to call dibs?"

"Gawi bawi bo!" Ji-won suddenly yelled, but you grabbed her hand as she threw a scissors symbol into the air.

"Sorry, ladies, but the bride's rules trump rock, paper, and scissors. That's Chan."

“That’s Chan? Well, shit.” Ji-won pauses. “Okay. Dibs on Jisung!” 

“Wait a minute!”

Ignoring the horny squabbling going on beside you, you discreetly ogle Chan over the rim of your cocktail. Changbin really needs to update his insta, because you were not prepared for Chan’s blond hair. Or the lip ring. Or, fuck, you nearly choke on your old fashioned as Chan laughs and something silvery inside his open mouth catches your eye. Is that a tongue ring too?!

This man could not be more your type. Absolute catnip, and your kitty is eager for a taste.

Whoa now. Deep breaths. You can do this. You have to do this, because otherwise you’ll let your cousin down. You can practically hear her disapproving tone right now. 

“Don’t even think about it.” 

With a startled jump, you realize Sun Hee is standing next to you. 

“Think about what?” you inquire, stirring your drink super casually. Like the most casually anyone’s ever stirred anything. Unbothered little rotations. 

Sun Hee is not easily dissuaded. “Don’t play dumb. You know exactly what I mean.” 

“I promise you, I’m not thinking anything.” If only that were true. You’d give anything to be head empty no thoughts right now. 

“I really wish I believed that,” Sun Hee sighs. “We both know you have a problem with… self-control.” 

You open your mouth to argue, but she merely points to the glass in your hand, and you quickly snap it shut. You’ve only been at the party for maybe half an hour, and this is your second drink.

Sun Hee’s not wrong. It’s well known to all your friends that you have a tendency to eagerly embrace all the delights life has to offer. Maybe “eagerly” isn’t the right word. “Greedily” might be more accurate. Often, unfortunately, to your detriment. But how can you resist, when the universe is constantly throwing so many pleasures your way - especially when they come in such gorgeous packages as Chan?

“Yeah, okay, maybe sometimes I indulge myself a little, but I told you I wouldn’t sleep with him, so relax, okay? I’m not going to do anything to ruin your big day. I promise you!” 

Sun Hee squints as she examines your face. Whatever she sees makes her smile, shoulders dropping in relief. “Thank you. Now let’s get this party started!” 

As she and Changbin greet their guests, you take another long look at Chan. He turns suddenly, catching your eye. Your breathing nearly stops when his gaze sweeps over you from head to toe. Then he smirks, tongue ring flashing as he licks his lips. 

Fuck. Okay. You can do this. You just need to exert a little willpower. Reign in those bad instincts of yours. Should be a piece of cake. 

Right?

Somehow, the god of parties is on your side. Maybe it’s the drink you spill as you look for a spot to sit for dinner that pleases them - your tipsy faux pas is accepted as an offering. Whatever the reason, you manage to dodge Chan all evening. 

He does offer you the seat next to him at dinner, but Ji-won waves you over to her table, so you refuse him with a polite shake of your head. Ji-won quickly engages you in assisting her with talking to Jisung, but all you end up saying is “Hey Jisung, haaave you met Ji-won?” before Ji-won takes over. Gal’s a talker, which is good, because Jisung’s a bit on the quiet side. Or maybe he just can’t find a place to jump into the conversation, since Ji-won doesn’t appear to need to breathe in order to speak. 

After dinner comes more cocktails and gifts. While the maid of honor hands out gifts for Sun Hee and Changbin to open, you ignore Chan’s smile in favor of writing a list of who brought what, to help your cousin with her thank you notes later. Your Halmeoni would be so proud. 

By the time the festivities wind down, you feel you’ve dodged a bullet. As everyone says their goodbyes, you linger behind, helping your cousin and Changbin carry their ridiculous haul of presents into their car. The trunk is stuffed full as you attempt to shove one more box onto the pile, only for an avalanche of ribbons and envelopes to send it clattering to the ground. 

“Here, let me,” a pleasant voice hums in your ear as your fingers extend, reaching for the box, only for it to be swept up by another hand. And, of course, that hand is connected to the man you’ve been carefully avoiding all night. Guess the party gods have abandoned you.

“Thank you,” you reply politely, studiously avoiding his eyes as Chan beams at you. Jesus, he could literally light up a room with that megawatt smile. 

“No worries.” He helps to push some of the packages back, preventing another deluge. “I’m Chan, by the way. I didn’t get a chance to introduce m’self earlier.” 

You grant him a quick smile as you state your name, then glance over his shoulder, looking for backup - someone you can excuse yourself to catch up to, pretend they’re your ride home. But of course, everyone else is gone now, and your cousin and Changbin are back inside the restaurant, settling the bill. 

“Am I holding you up from something?” 

“Hmm?” You finally let yourself meet his gaze. It’s like you’ve been hit with the full force of the sun. Chan’s smile intensifies, eyes crinkling as he laughs lightly, and it’s too late, you can already feel yourself melting. 

“You look like you’re looking for something. Or someone?” 

“Oh. No, sorry, I was just making sure I hadn’t dropped anything on the way to the car,” you lie, clearing your throat awkwardly. 

Chan nods, sliding his hands into his pockets as he leans against the car. “So… you’re Sun Hee’s cousin, right?”

You nod. 

“She told me that you live here too,” he says. “It’s been years since I’ve been in town. I was thinking - since I’m gonna be here a few times between now and the wedding, I should find someone who can show me around a bit. Let me know what’s good.” He rolls his tongue over his lip ring. “Think you could help me out?”

Every time he drags his eyes down your body, you have to suppress a shiver of anticipation. He’s being incredibly obvious about what he means by showing him what’s good. 

“I - “ can’t think of a valid excuse because you’re too busy picturing what he can do with that tongue ring. “I don’t know how much free time I’ll have, with everything Sun Hee needs me to do for the wedding. She’s gonna be so busy. So, um, I don’t think I can. Help you.” Not your smoothest response, but not the worst, either.

Chan’s eyebrow rises slightly. He looks away, nodding. “Right, of course. Can’t let your cousin down, can ya? So…” He pushes himself off the car, taking a step towards you. “What about tonight then? Any plans?” 

Not a single one. An alarm goes off in your head as he takes another step closer. “Tonight?” 

“Yeah. Maybe we could go somewhere and talk? I know I could just ask ‘Bin for suggestions, but…” he shrugs. “He’s pretty busy too. And honestly? He’s gotten all mellow on me. Too boring and settled-down, y’know?” 

You laugh at his bluntness. “Binnie’s always been this way, as long as I’ve known him. You’re telling me he used to be different?” 

“Oh, you have no idea,” he hums, winking. “The stories I could tell… why don’t you let me buy you a drink, and maybe I’ll share a few?”

It’s very tempting, especially the thought of hearing some (hopefully) embarrassing tales about Changbin. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad? One drink wouldn’t be too much, even given how much you’ve already had this evening. You’ll give him some suggestions of places to check out while he’s in town, he’ll divulge some of Binnie’s college shenanigans, and then you’ll say you’re tired and bounce. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

And then suddenly it’s two hours and several drinks later, and you’re nowhere near home. 

You had originally suggested going to a favorite spot, a bar owned by a friend where you could drink for cheap (and also potentially have someone who could bail you out if things with Chan got a little hot and heavy), but upon arriving had found it closed for repairs of some sort. Chan’s hotel just happened to be a block away and it just happened to have a really nice bar, so you thought, why not?

Why not, indeed, you’re thinking to yourself, playing with the melting ice in your empty glass. Why not sit side-by-side in the booth, so you can hear each other better? You really didn’t want to miss a single word he said. Why not let Chan drape his arm around your shoulders, since the bar has the air conditioning set to arctic blast and your sundress is not nearly as warm as its namesake? 

Chan has been nothing but a polite gentleman since you sat down, keeping you laughing with all of his deliciously embarrassing tales, to the point that your worries about crossing the line so firmly set by Sun Hee fade from your mind. 

“And after that, we were banned from ever visiting Ikea again,” Chan finishes, a crooked grin crossing his face as he waits for you to stop laughing.

You wipe a tear from the corner of your eye. “I cannot believe Binnie did that! That is… just the greatest story I’ve ever heard,” you inform him. “Thank you so, so much for sharing that.” 

Chan nods, leaning back against the vinyl of the booth seat. “Now, you’re not gonna run off and snitch to Changbin, are you? Tell him I’ve divulged all his dirty secrets?” 

You press your hand to your chest, looking scandalized. “Absolutely not! I would never. Everything you’ve told me stays with me.” You pause. “Until I need it.” 

“Fair.” His grin returns, cheekier than ever. “If you’re gonna use it for blackmail, I will be expecting a cut. Just to warn ya.” 

A server stops by your table to grab your empty glasses and drop off the check. It feels like the perfect opportunity to bring the night to a close - thank Chan for the drinks, since he didn’t even attempt to argue with you about paying, simply dropped his card on the tray, thank him for the gossip, and bid him a good evening. 

But no. You’re you, and so instead of saying “Thank you” or “Good night,” you say,

“I think we could come to an arrangement.” 

Chan tilts his head, eyes roaming from your smiling lips down to your goose-dimpled thighs and back, and you realize you may have miscalculated a bit. Because the sweet expression on his face has vanished, replaced by a look of hunger so ravenous, your pulse quickens - the primal reaction of prey realizing it’s exactly where a hunter wants it. 

“Could we now?” He shifts slightly, the arm around your shoulders falling between you as he signs the receipt. He taps the pen on the table. “I like the sound of that.” 

You do too, which is why there are klaxons suddenly blaring in your head. You should really leave. Instead of sliding further into the corner of the booth as Chan casually leans forward, blocking your view of the rest of the bar. 

That’s when the hand that was at Chan’s side creeps its way onto your exposed thigh. 

“I…” you trail off, totally engrossed by his fingers as they roam, unable to tear your eyes away. They’re more callused than you’d expected, roughened tips catching slightly on your soft skin in an enticing manner. “I do too.” 

He’s just a whisper away now, deep brown eyes fixed on your mouth as he smiles, a warm thing that sharpens as he says, “Maybe we should hammer out some terms? Y’know, just in case? We don’t have to talk here…” His hand slips ever so slightly down the inward curve of your thigh. “We can take this to my room. For privacy. Unless…” 

Sucking in a breath, you meet his eyes, and let your legs fall open just a bit. Chan huffs out a pleased laugh and his hand disappears beneath your skirt. 

The klaxons in your brain are completely silent now, but thankfully the bar is not. The jazzy music drifting down from the overhead speakers covers your tiny whimper when Chan skims his fingers along the newly formed damp patch in your underwear. 

“Mmm, someone seems to be into the idea of being touched in public. Are you into that, love?” 

As a matter of fact, you are, and it’s one of the many vices that’s gotten you in trouble in the past. You just can’t help yourself. Just like right now, even knowing you should walk away, that you might make a mess of things, you’re unable to stop. 

You don’t want to stop, so you nod. 

He arranges himself so he’s propped his head up on his elbow on the table. To anyone looking at your table, it just looks like the two of you are absorbed in deep conversation, huddled close, but not close enough to cause anyone’s eye to linger. 

Or so you hope, biting your lip to stifle a whine when Chan’s fingers push your panties aside.

“Good. Cause I am, too.” And then he’s pressed his finger inside you, groaning quietly at how easily it glides through your folds. His tongue plays with the small hoop nestled in the center of his plush bottom lip. “Oh, shit, you really like this. So fucking wet, dirty girl.”

There’s no reason to argue with him. If it wasn’t clear by the ridiculous amount of slick between your legs, it’s clear by the way you cant your hips forward, trying to urge him to slip his whole middle finger in too as he teases you with the tip. With a throaty chuckle, he obliges. 

“There you go. Is that what you needed?” 

“Mmm,” you hum, muffling your moan with pursed lips. He strokes inside you languidly, enjoying the choked breaths that punch their way out of your throat, before adding another finger. 

You bow your head slightly, trying to hide behind Chan, who leans forward with a smirk, close enough for his lips to brush your cheek. If you turned your face a little, you could kiss him right now, but you’re too focused on the way he’s playing your pussy like one of his soundboards, tweaking and fondling just right, to do anything but try to breathe. 

“Can I tell you something?” he whispers. 

“A-anything.” 

“I had my eye on you all during the party. Kept trying to get your attention, wanted to convince you to go home with me tonight. ‘M glad it worked out.” 

“Who, hnngh, who said I’m going home with you?” you manage to spit out around your groans. 

Chan’s fingers still. “Wait, you don’t wanna come back to my room?” 

“I didn’t say that.” The look he gives you makes you feel dangerous, having such an irresistible man hanging on your every word. It’s such an intoxicating power. “I just meant I’m not convinced y-yet, fuck.” 

You stutter as Chan starts tracing your inner walls, caressing your g-spot hard enough to make you curse. He’s accepted the gauntlet you’ve thrown down with surprising speed, and you suck on the insides of your cheeks, biting gently into your own mouth to keep from shouting out loud.

“Something you should know about me, love - ‘m a bit competitive. I don’t back down from challenges.” 

Chan’s fingers plunge faster and faster, alternating thrusts with strokes. The more his speed increases, the more his arm flexes, biceps rippling under his tight t-shirt. If the bartender were to just glance over, he’d see the way your head is tipped back in ecstasy, and there’s no denying the pleasure flitting across your face. You could be caught so easily.

“Look at you, taking it so well. Bet you’d look so good taking my cock.”

Your eyes fall to the obvious bulge in Chan’s lap. You just know he’d feel so good. Why didn’t you take this to his room? You could be riding him right now. 

Oh well, you’ll just have to let him keep fingering you until you cum all over his hand in the middle of this bar. 

You’re getting close now, but his plunging fingers aren’t quite enough to give you what you so desperately desire. Unashamed to beg for what you want, you gasp out, “More,” hands balling into fists as tight as the knot inside you. 

Chan smirks. His thumb finds your clit. You find the edge. And fall right over. 

“Shiiiiit,” you groan, thighs twitching together, muscles contracting to trap Chan’s hand as an orgasm overtakes you, shockingly fast. So he doesn’t back down from challenges and he’s an overachiever. 

“There you go, love,” he coos. Your abdomen shakes from the force of your climax. He slowly circles your oversensitive nub until he finally stops, and one final shudder passes through you. “Made such a mess for me.” 

Your only response is a string of curse words that would send Halmeoni right to her grave. Chan laughs, bringing his hand to his mouth, and you swear again as he thoroughly cleans his fingers with his tongue, rolling the little stud over and around.

“Have I convinced you now?” he asks, eyes gleaming, tone smug. So, so smug. It’s almost shameful how hot you find that. 

You’re definitely convinced of his skills. And if you go back to his room with him, there’s no telling what other talents he might share. 

Then again… if he works this hard to impress you now….

With a polite smile, you gently pat his arm, silently asking him to give you some space to shimmy your panties back into place. His eyebrow lifts as he waits for your answer.

“Not really.” 

Based on his dazed expression, it’s pretty evident that Chan has never gotten anything less than a rave response to his skills. How absolutely delightful. Your shoulders shake with suppressed laughter as he blinks at you. 

“Thank you for the drinks. But I should really get going, got a ton of stuff to do with Sun Hee in the morning.” Not a total lie, since you do have plans for brunch with your cousin and the other bridesmaids. But brunch never usually stops you from anything. 

“Come on, love - you really want to leave now?” He’s recovered from his shock, bringing a hand up to cup your cheek. “The night’s just getting started. That was just a small taste of what could happen.” He leans in, lips just brushing your ear as he murmurs, “Don’t you want more?”

Chan’s a fighter. Good to know.

“Mmm, maybe. But not tonight.”

He pulls back, searching your gaze. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” You laugh, nudging him with your knee. Chan slowly rises to his feet, shuffling aside to let you out of the booth. The stupefied look is back. Baffled hunter realizing his trap didn’t spring. 

“Well… if you change your mind, you know where I am. Room 143.” 

He rubs the back of his neck as he speaks, and there’s something kind of sweet about it, like he’s a little unsure of himself, possibly for the first time in his life, so you place your hands lightly on his chest. Damn, he’s so solid. He could definitely rail you through the wall of this bar, if you so asked. 

But not tonight. 

“Sweet dreams, Chan.” Your words warms his lips as you cross the space between you. Even though his hands grip your hips, even though his tongue tastes like scotch, even though the moan he exhales sends shivers from your head to your toes, you break away, and head for the door. 

As you sit in the lobby, waiting for your ride, it’s impossible not to pat yourself on the back, gloating over your victory. You kept your promise to your cousin and got to tease an incredibly hot man into giving you an orgasm at the same time. But what strikes you the most was the wild glint you saw in Chan’s eye as you walked away. 

This is going to be so much fun. 

Masterlist 💜 Find me on AO3 💜 

© 2023 by minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost. I do not allow translations of my works.

[zorosleftmantit101]

One piece men on zaza

Characters:

C/W: drugs/ Zaza 🍃

A/N: i love Zaza

Luffy: gets the munchies IMMEDIATELY is walking around the kitchen like a dumbass looking for snacks.

Sanji: makes edibles and Luffy comes in and eats all of them. No zaza for Sanji 😞

Zoro: starts fighting inanimate objects.

Kid and killer: listen to hardcore metal absolutely zooted out of their mind just chilling.

Shanks: tried that zaza. projectile threw up everywhere did not try that zaza again.

Ace: their is not a single moment this man isn't on zaza ESPECIALLY greasy ace man has a bong with hearts on it.

Law: another avid zaza user ik this man can not deal with kid and Luffy's bullshit without being on cloud nine.

Buggy: tried it with mihawk and crocodile and coughed up and absolute lung. His eyes get SO bloodshot 😭

Crocodile: belly laughing watching buggy cough a lung after taking a hit. takes a lonnnnnng drag and blows it all over Mihawks face who is NOT happy about it.

Corazon: twerks A lot

[jihopesjoint]

I’m sorry if someone has already asked you this but I just discovered your blog and I have to know what your headcannons are of BTS while high

anon… NO ONE has asked me this yet!!!! and you have my whole entire heart for taking one for the team and doing god’s work. i have treated this ask with the utmost importance and i only hope that i don’t disappoint you. also i'm sorry this took me literally all day LMFAO let me just open this with a blanket statement: the sheer number of bangtan giggles that there would be. i think i would die. anyway. onwards and upwards

namjoon

tbh my boy namjoon already speaks like he is stoned. he is ALWAYS waxing poetic and having an existential crisis, and that would increase tenfold if found holding a blunt. he’s making connections, he’s drawing conclusions. the empty chip bag that he has just devoured is definitely a metaphor for fame and how people take everything they love from you and then there’s nothing left for yourself. he’d sit on that for about five minutes before feeling guilty for thinking such thoughts about HIS army, who always refills his metaphorical chip bag.

seokjin

think of the windshield wiper laughs. OH he would be making the stupidest jokes (yes more than he already does). he gets great pleasure from jokes that make people groan. in seeming direct contrast, our gamer guy would be absolutely COUCHLOCKED. but he’d find that for some reason he just isn’t as angry at failures/deaths as he would be sober. and he thinks, “is THIS peace? have i never known it before this moment?” he didn't think he could get any more go with the flow than he already was. but if you think he’s not paying attention to the room around him, think again. he's making fun of everyone else losing their minds, all with eyes glued to the screen.

yoongi

oh bro. yoongi? he’s already an encyclopedia of useless knowledge, sprinkled with existential dread and hatred of the system. my man is ranting and RAVING about the capitalist machine. he doesn't understand why people have to work themselves to death to survive with no opportunity to enjoy life. he's pissed about the fact that he now benefits so greatly from a system he initially set out to be publicly against. and then he'll go on for 15 minutes about stucco, no transition. he's also hearing the most mundane sounds and recording them on his phone because they'll be perfect samples for a track. and then when he listens back to them the next day, he'll be like "what the absolute fuck was this?"

hobi

hobi for the first 20 minutes of the high is a silent observer. it's a little overwhelming right at the beginning, so he's probably a little in his head. he's just taking everything in. but after he crests the peak, he is loosey goosey. music has never made him want to dance more, and he didn't know that was possible. our boy's taste in music is made for getting stoned to. he's wiggling over to the snacks, wiggling with the snacks in his hand. falling to the floor, shouting with laughter when he sees how absolutely ZOOTED his members are. after he wipes the tears from his eyes, he sees yoongi sampling the sound of the ice maker and immediately goes over to be his ultimate hype man.

jimin

park jimin. my sweet baby. he knows that mama didn’t raise no bitch, so he’s taken extra hits after everyone’s tapped out. his eyes are basically permanently shut. for the life of him he cannot stop giggling. he’s in that every single thing that happens is funny mode. can’t hold himself upright. we’re talking hands on shoulders, we’re talking heads in laps, we’re talking falling to the floor. kim taehyung is the funniest person to exist in his eyes (yes more than normal). usually he cringes at himself speaking affectionately about his members, but all inhibitions are gone. he loves them SO MUCH, and he’s absolutely not going to shut up about it. he’s making grandiose plans for them to never get around to doing together because they’re not actually reasonable.

taehyung

taehyung is also thinking thoughts, putting things together. we're talking about the brain that brought us borahae. of course, for one good realization, you have to have about one hundred terrible ones. think of the highest thought you've ever had, or have ever heard someone else have, and you might have stepped inside the anomaly that is kim taehyung's head. some shit like, "what if birds aren't singing and they're actually screaming because they're afraid of heights?" and of course, jimin is fully ready to take this thought that he accidentally vocalized, turn it into a bit, and beat it into the ground. legend has it they're still figuring this out.

jungkook

on his most productive day, our maknae is operating as head empty, no thoughts. so there's no doubt in my mind that he's staring at the wall. not a damn thing is happening up there, i promise you. he's just realized AGAIN that he has hands, but he has no idea what to do with them. because he's completely unaware of what's going on in the room around him, he's interrupted taehyung and jimin's bit to ask them what he should do about his hand predicament. but while he was trying to get their attention, his hand brushed over one of the blankets on the couch and goddamn is it not the softest thing he's ever felt. so his focus has shifted entirely to feeling this blanket. rinse and repeat.

[palettepainter]

Working on some Muppet art for the next addition to the Zootowski family tree, the twins parents, but it's taking a bit longer then I thought due to my new work contract (basically means I got a whole new schedule and I hate drastic schedule changes, I'm still adjusting to it).

In the meantime I've been thinking about Camilla (she's close with the twins parents) and decided to make a small post of headcannons with her:

-Camilla is a walking dumpster and will eat anything, she's notorious for eating eggs raw. It endlessly disturbs the rest of her family (aside from Zephyr's mum who is unphased but it). When eating hard boiled eggs, one of her favourite snacks, she eats them with the shell on because she "likes the crunch"

-Due to her habit of eating foods which generally aren't considered normal, Tina especially is very unnerved by her. Camilla has no idea and thinks of Tina as a good friend (if a bit straight laced and to the point)

-Animals are scared of her due to her large size, which upsets her a lot since she loves cute animals.

-I've mentioned this before but all the good genes went to her muscles, out of everyone on the Zoot family tree she's the least tactical despite being one of the oldest

-She grew up in Rio where she raised Raph, making a career for herself in sport. Raph's side of the family is incredibly sporty, very unusual compared to his oldest cousin Zoot who is...well, the total opposite. Camilla has done plenty of sport in her time, football, volley ball, wrestling and boxing being the main ones. Before becoming a mother she played for local sport teams, but when Raph came along and she began teaching him how to play certain sports, she decided to become a coach. She mostly teaches older kids and adults since teaching kids makes her worry, she knows how strong she is and worries about accidentally hurting them

-She can play the guitar, and pretty damn well despite having huge hands. It was a cheap method Camilla tried out as a way to put herself out there more, she started learning when Raph was a kid and she was feeling lonely about being a single mum. Now days she's a lot less self conscious about it, but playing the guitar does in fact help her pick up chicks (even if she has no clue how to handle the attention)

-Camilla sometimes speaks in the third person

-Due to her strength and build, Camilla is rarely ever scared. You can make her jump and she can get nervous, but she's rarely be scared scared. Due to all the years she spent doing sport she's a hard hitter and can more then hold her own, it definitely helped build her confidence. Anytime she comes across a muppet-y monster looking creature she's hardly phased by it

-She owns a "Free Hugs" shirt and wears it to Pride

-Relentlessly religious about self care and physical well being, when she was younger she'd sometimes overwork herself or get herself busted up in wrestling that resulted in a bad injury or scar, so she's very aware and cautious of her own limits and others

-Panicked the fuck out when Raph started randomly teleporting without warning. It seems Zoot and his cousins all got some weird freaky power, which their parents skipped out on. Raph's ability is to teleport (shamelessly inspired by Sans from undertale), often silently and without meaning to as a baby. Camilla would pull her hair out every time it happened, in the end, when it was safe for it to not be considered a choaking risk. Camilla got Raph little ankle bracelets with bells on them so she could always hear where he teleported to

-Is the type of relative to bring lasagne or casserole as a gift

-Big eater. Ontop of being able to eat pretty much anything and not get sick, Camilla has a huge appetite. And like with the rest of her, she has an impressively strong jaw. Despite all the stuff she eats her teeth are actually pretty good (something which endlessly boggles Tina)

[no-see-um-incorrect]

Could you write about Finn and his lis getting high and both of them are really really snuggly?

(Half my fam is stoners so I’ve had my fair share of interactions with high people)

So sunflower made Cookies…

✨Special Cookies✨

Now Finn smokes when he’s anxious. But today was his Day off so when he saw that his love made delicious chocolate chip cookies…. He decided to indulge himself…….with 4 of them.

So sunflower is sitting there on the couch reading. snacking on there second cookie when they see their sweet honey Bee boy coming to the couch with a Absolutely zooted look on his face.

“Sunflower~” he slides on the couch wrapping his arms around there waist. “Hey Bunny~ What are you up too?” He nuzzles his face in there side “I’m just Mmmm just cuddling you~” they think for a moment about the tone in his voice and the look on his face. Before it clicked “..Finny~ did you eat any of my Cookies?” They smiled running their fingers through his hair “A few Mmm~” they thought about telling him but boyfriend cuddles are more important right now. They adjust themselves so they’re in a more horizontal ready from napping position. 

“Scooch let me hold you” he moves up and lays his head on there chest “Mmm your sOooO soft~” is tone was softer sleepier. He lightly lifts up his head to plant kisses along their collar bones. They wrap their arms and legs around him and nuzzle their face in his hair. “my favorite cuddle bug~” they felt him smile against their skin. A perfect moment made from a little mistake. Maybe sunflowers should make their special cookies more often. If it gets there oh so anxious boy this hungry for cuddles.

I hope I did you request justice. Ngl I did shed a tear of loneliness while writing this.  but it’s OK (i’m out here living) loved this request 

Sorry if there’s any spelling errors 

[punster-2319]

Ranking the Classic MGM Tom and Jerry Cartoons (Favorite to Least Favorite)

1. Solid Serenade (1946)

2. Trap Happy (1946)

3. Tee for Two (1945)

4. The Cat Concerto (1947)

5. Mouse Trouble (1944)

6. Jerry’s Cousin (1951)

7. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Mouse (1947)

8. Texas Tom (1950)

9. Heavenly Puss (1949)

10. The Zoot Cat (1944)

11. Cat Fishin’ (1947)

12. Flirty Birdy (1945)

13. The Mouse Comes to Dinner (1945)

14. Springtime for Thomas (1946)

15. Baby Puss (1943)

16. Kitty Foiled (1948)

17. Little Quacker (1950)

18. Mouse in Manhattan (1945)

19. Jerry and the Lion (1950)

20. The Million Dollar Cat (1944)

21. The Truce Hurts (1950)

22. Fit to Be Tied (1952)

23. Quiet Please! (1945)

24. Pecos Pest (1955)

25. Puttin’ on the Dog (1944)

26. The Bodyguard (1944)

27. The Dog House (1952)

28. Safety Second (1950)

29. Part Time Pal (1947)

30. Saturday Evening Puss (1950)

31. Down Beat Bear (1956)

32. The Missing Mouse (1953)

33. Little Runaway (1952)

34. Professor Tom (1948)

35. Cue Ball Cat (1950)

36. Jerry’s Diary (1949)

37. Tom and Jerry in the Hollywood Bowl (1950)

38. Jerry and the Goldfish (1951)

39. The Flying Cat (1952)

40. The Duck Doctor (1952)

41. Sufferin’ Cats (1943)

42. Love That Pup (1949)

43. The Yankee Doodle Mouse (1943)

44. The Invisible Mouse (1947)

45. The Little Orphan (1949)

46. Nit-Witty Kitty (1952)

47. Jerry and Jumbo (1953)

48. Timid Tabby (1957)

49. The Bowling Alley-Cat (1942)

50. Puss Gets the Boot (1940)

51. Hatch Up Your Troubles (1949)

52. Sleepy-Time Tom (1951)

53. Fine Feathered Friend (1942)

54. Two Little Indians (1953)

55. Pet Peeve (1954)

56. Muscle Beach Tom (1956)

57. Smarty Cat (1955)

58. Puss n’ Toots (1942)

59. The Night Before Christmas (1941)

60. The Lonesome Mouse (1943)

61. The Milky Waif (1946)

62. Mouse Cleaning (1948)

63. Mouse for Sale (1955)

64. Posse Cat (1954)

65. The Two Mouseketeers (1952)

66. Touché, Pussy Cat! (1954)

67. Tom and Chérie (1955)

68. Tennis Chumps (1949)

69. Salt Water Tabby (1947)

70. A Mouse in the House (1947)

71. Fraidy Cat (1942)

72. The Midnight Snack (1941)

73. Barbecue Brawl (1956)

74. Royal Cat Nap (1958)

75. Hic-cup Pup (1954)

76. Old Rockin’ Chair Tom (1948)

77. Push-Button Kitten (1952)

78. Slicked-up Pup (1951)

79. Puppy Tale (1954)

80. Triplet Trouble (1952)

81. The Cat and the Mermouse (1949)

82. Casanova Cat (1951)

83. The Framed Cat (1951)

84. Cat Napping (1951)

85. Cruise Cat (1952)

86. That’s My Pup! (1954)

87. Dog Trouble (1942)

88. Little School Mouse (1954)

89. Pup on a Picnic (1955)

90. Robin Hoodwinked (1958)

90. The Vanishing Duck (1958)

92. Just Ducky (1953)

93. Downhearted Duckling (1954)

94. Southbound Duckling (1955)

95. That’s My Mommy (1955)

96. Happy Go Ducky (1958)

97. Tot Watchers (1958)

98. Busy Buddies (1956)

99. Tom’s Photo Finish (1957)

100. Polka-Dot Puss (1949)

101. Smitten Kitten (1952)

102. Life with Tom (1953)

103. His Mouse Friday (1951)

104. Mucho Mouse (1957)

105. Blue Cat Blues (1956)

106. Designs for Jerry (1954)

107. Neapolitan Mouse (1954)

108. Mice Follies (1954)

109. Johann Mouse (1953)

110. Baby Butch (1954)

111. The Flying Sorceress (1956)

112. The Egg and Jerry (1956)

113. Tops and Pops (1957)

114. Feedin’ the Kiddie (1957)

There’s all 114 classic MGM Tom and Jerry cartoons ranked (I’m not ranking the later Gene Deitch or Chuck Jones shorts).

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE CLASSIC TOM AND JERRY CARTOONS?

[melodic-cherry]

Midnight snacks mayhem edition

Teeth: yk those singular slice cheesecake platters? Yeah he sneaks one of those

Floyd: strikes me as a midnight drinker idk why just a lil sip for the troubles

Janice: popcorn. Idk. Just makes sense. Or strawberries

Animal: whole bag of Funyuns

Lips: microwave burrito except he forgets to watch the microwave so loud beeping occurs

Zoot: anything. He’s hungry. He wants a lil snack. And he’s gone. Like a mouse.

[baby--b4t]

it’s fishie anon and I have yet another minific idea that will I will also be requesting as a bot when they are open again :3

user/reader and kazuha smoke together, but for some reason user/reader gets overwhelmed due to how much stuffs they accidentally smoked and regresses bc of it, so kazuha gets to play babysitter/cg for his tiny while they’re both probably zooted out of their noggins

🐠

this is going to be so silly. nothing but giggles between user/reader and kaz (´-ω-`) ill try and make a bot based on it for my next bot batch but have a minific for now <3

(sorry if none of this feels very accurate. i have never smoked before and am going based off of stories ive heard from friends σ^_^;)

Kazuha had invited you over to smoke and relax for the evening, knowing your week had been stressful. It wasnt uncommon to find you two high, but you always only smoked what you knew you could handle. You both knew your limits and never pushed them... Usually.

"y/n? Hellooo?" Kazuha waved his hand in front of your face. Your eyes were so red and glazed over, a sight Kazuha hadnt exactly expected so soon from you. "Wakey wakey~ You cant be spacing out just yet, silly."

You felt Kazuha try and sit you up a bit better, resulting in a whine coming from you. It definitely confused Kazuha for a moment. He blinked at you before starting to realize something was off with you. Your mind was feeling fuzzy, both from the weed and from the regression settling in.

"Hm.. Are youu... Little?" Kazuha tried to guess, smiling slightly as he thought about trying to care for you right now. "Aw, you did, didnt you? Thats okay! That just means nap time will be easier, right?" He tried to keep his tone light and playful, seeing your slightly pouty face.

You whined at him again, not entirely sure why but you definitely knew you needed something. Your regressed mind wasnt exactly the best at understanding your bodily cues.

"Shh, youre okayy.." Kazuha shushed as he gently ruffled your hair. "Want a snack? Maybe a lil snack will help the whiny babyy~" He added in a sing-song tone, excitedly moving to the snacks you two had brought out prior to smoking.

Kazuha rummaged through the snacks for a moment before frowning slightly. He couldnt find a snack he deemed 'baby appropriate'. He may be high, but he wanted to be the best caregiver for you right now.

"Wait right here for a moment, bud." Kazuha gently said to you before he got up. He shuffled his way over towards the kitchen area, taking a moment to find your bottle and filling it up with juice. He had to take it slow to make sure he didnt spill anything.

"Here we are~" Kazuha proudly sat back down with you and help the bottle up to your face. "A yummy bottle for a grumpy baby, hehe-" He helped you get settled on his lap, holding the bottle as you lazily drank from it. He felt so much more dotting towards you while he was high.

Kazuha cooed at you as you drank, finding the state you were in quite adorable. His comments seemed to make you giggle somewhat. Your laughter sounded sleepy, but Kazuha didnt mind. He was just happy you seemed happy.

"Youre such a high baby right now, arent you? Yeah, you smoked too much too quickly~" Kazuha continued to tease you. It didnt take long before he found himself relaxing with you in his lap as well, his eyelids feeling heavier. You let out a big yawn, startling yourself slightly as you were still drinking your juice.

"Perhaps baby and Kazuha should take a nap.." Kazuha mumbled, taking the bottle away from your mouth. He lazily grabbed a blanket and pulled it over the two of you, rubbing your back to help you settle slightly. "Nap time~"

[sockslippin]

What is your favorite snack or meal to eat when you’re zooted?!

I have this place near me called wings and burgers or WnB. I get a huge burger some Jamaican jerk wings and cheesey bacon fries!

[minisugakoobies]

I’m so excited about the drabble that’s not a drabble anymore!!! Also YES PLEASE GIMME THE TEASER!!!!!!!!!!

Ahhhh, I'm glad you're excited! Ok then! 💕 Title: The Rules Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader Genre: strangers to lovers, smut, Wedding!AU WC: 634, final TBD Warnings: none for the teaser Summary: How long can you follow the rules?

When your cousin asked you to be a bridesmaid, she gave you three simple rules to follow:

Number one: don't be late. "To be early is to be on time. To be on time is to be late. To be late is to get cut out of the family. Don't think Halmeoni won't drop you from her will if I ask."

Number two: Don't get super wasted. "What if I have a bridal emergency and you're completely zooted, upchucking wine spritzers in the bathroom?" As if you'd drink a wine spritzer.

And rule number three: Don't fuck Bang Chan.

She announced the third rule the first time you gathered with her and her other bridesmaids to discuss wedding details. Bang Chan, it turned out, was her fiancé's "Best Bro" from his college frat days.

"Binnie was in a frat? Huh," was your response upon learning this new factoid.

Sun Hee rolled her eyes. "I know, it's weird, but he's grown up a lot since I met him. Chan, on the other hand…" she grimaced. "He's a fuckboy. Of the highest magnitude. S-class. A summa cum fuckboy."

"More like a someone's gonna come fuckboy, amiright?" maid of honor Ji-won snarked, cracking herself up, but she quickly stopped when Sun Hee gave her the evil eye.

"And that's bad because…" you drawled.

"Because every goddamn time one of my friends hooks up with his slutty ass, they completely lose their shit. And I! Do! Not! Have the time to deal with the fallout!" Sun Hee clapped her hands after each word, like a deranged cheerleader. "So keep your hands and your holes away from that man!"

At first, when you met the groomsmen at the engagement party, you thought to yourself that Sun Hee's rule was unnecessary. Apparently, Changbin only hung out with other ridiculously good-looking guys. Any one of them could probably show you an amazing time, if you so desired. 

And then Bang Chan walked in.

Out of curiosity, you'd looked the guy up, scouring Changbin's insta for old photos. Just so you could see what all the fuss was about. It was pretty easy to identify why Sun Hee's friends were apparently throwing themselves at the man, between his muscular build, his warm eyes, and his heart-melting smile. And as a semi-famous music producer, he's a star on the rise, which only adds to his allure. But holy shit, you were not prepared for the charisma.

He strolled into the room like he was walking onto a stage, radiating confidence from every inch of his rather thick frame, as if expecting an audience to start applauding at his presence. Maybe that's why you weren't surprised to see Changbin and his friends light up as they caught sight of their friend.

Of course, they weren't the only ones to notice him.

"Oh damn, look at the snack that just walked in," Ji-won whispered, tugging on your sleeve. "He's tasty."

"Yeah he is," another bridesmaid, Hae, piped up. "Is it too late to call dibs?"

"Gawi bawi bo!" Ji-won suddenly yelled, but you grabbed her hand as she threw a scissors symbol into the air.

"Sorry, ladies, but the bride's rules trump rock, paper, and scissors. That's Chan."

“That’s Chan? Well, shit.” Ji-won pauses. “Okay. Dibs on Jisung!” 

“Wait a minute!”

Ignoring the horny squabbling going on beside you, you discreetly ogle Chan over the rim of your cocktail. Changbin really needs to update his insta, because you were not prepared for Chan’s blond hair. Or the lip ring. Or, fuck, you nearly choke on your old fashioned as Chan laughs and something silvery inside his open mouth catches your eye. Is that a tongue ring too?!

This man could not be more your type. Absolute catnip, and your kitty is eager for a taste.

Masterlist 💜 Find me on AO3 💜 

© 2023 by minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost.

[prototype-heart]

I gotten into Hazbin Hotel, and I got inspired by the creativity there and had some fun. So I decided to get an OC of Hazbin my own! Zootalore! Based on a conversation with a friend of mine, and inspired by what he thought would suit me best, with the primary sins of Wrath and Gluttony

"Your death was at the result of a lightning strike and as you manifest in Hell you feel your skin tingle with static electricity down your newly formed mane, lightning shaped stripes along your new pelt as lick your now sharp teeth. You find you can't straighten your back, your new posture hunched but strong. You are now a hyena shaped sinner similar to a gnoll and the first thing you know: is you are both angry and hungry."

Of course I'm not an artist myself but i did commission a friend of mine to draw him! and now without further ado, meet Zootalore! Or Zoots for short, he's a active sinner with a voracious hunger and a irrepressible desire for reckless stunts and driving. Such as driving right into a cafe's patio and stealing someone else's snack, or driving his motorcycle into a bistro's kitchen and grab something while it's still hot and cooking. New meaning on the term 'dine and dash'. And due to his death and own personality he's able to produce a fair bit of voltage from himself, enough to shock others or short circuit stuff. And now that he's in hell, he decided may as well enjoy the ride one way or another.

Big thanks to my friend @the-nerd-beast for giving me the above description on what they think i'd be like as a sinner enough for me be inspired to get Zoot, and a deep thanks to JezterSpecter at Instagram for drawing him. A link to Jezter's Instagram below